this glorious maze

because life is full of twists and turns

Tag: life (page 1 of 13)


welcome adelaide jane!

Two weeks ago we welcomed Adelaide Jane into our family!  We are absolutely smitten with this sweet babe and are so, so happy that we got to meet her three weeks earlier than we were anticipating.

adelaide yawning

The past two weeks have been good, but also the tiniest bit overwhelming.  Everything is okay with Adelaide right now, but we’ve been in and out of the pediatrician’s many times as she’s being monitored a little closer than most babies are.  In addition to that (and the normal lack of sleep due to having a newborn in the house) Caleb’s been having to keep up with classes – grad school doesn’t stop when you have a new baby and since we were expecting her to arrive closer to the end of the semester, we thought he’d be a bit further along in projects.  Plus we’ve tried to keep Hadden in his regular activities and therapies as well.  We owe a HUGE thank you to my mom and two of my sisters who have alternated visits to help out.  It has been a tremendous help to have an extra set of hands around at all times and all three of them went above and beyond to make things easier on us.

me with babies

This is the face of one very tired (but happy!) mama!

My original plan was to have blog posts scheduled for the first few weeks of Adelaide’s life so that I wouldn’t leave the blog silent during that time and could focus on her, but the combination of my bout with influenza and her early arrival means that my plan got derailed.  Instead I’ll probably be digging some of my favorite posts out of the archives to share during this time – keep in touch with me on Facebook to see them!  In the meantime, check out this post introducing Hadden who is almost four years old now!

Thanks for celebrating the arrival of our sweet girl with us!  I’ll be responding to comments and e-mails as soon as I’m able to, but it might take me a bit longer than normal!

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life lately: third trimester + influenza

I didn’t mean to drop off the face of the earth (err…internet) last month, but that’s what ended up happening.  Here’s a quick recap of the end of March and the beginning of April.

Over Caleb’s spring break, we took a quick trip to St. Louis where we joined up with some of our dearest friends for the weekend.  We met this couple soon after we moved to Omaha, when our babies were just 5 and 7 months old.  Fast forward to present day when we’ve become even closer and we have five children between our two families (albeit two of them are still in utero).  Since our husbands have very different jobs in the Air Force, it’s unlikely that we’ll ever be stationed together again.  I’m so glad that we were able to make that weekend trip work and that we got to spend time with our favorite people again.  It was AWESOME!

For the remainder of Caleb’s spring break we stayed busy, filling the days with all the extra things that slip through the cracks of normal weeks.  We got haircuts, worked on the lawn and did some deep cleaning.  Hadden had a few extra appointments that week and I took a friend out for a birthday lunch.  That week I also spent a morning with Hadden’s preschool class since I knew I wouldn’t have time to do that once this baby comes.

Saturday night (the eve of Easter) I suddenly started feeling sick, but I chalked it up to third trimester and having a busy week.  I went to bed early.  But the next day I was even sicker.  That evening I ended up calling my OB’s emergency line (something I’ve never done!) because in addition to the respiratory issues I’d had since Saturday, I now had aches and a high fever and couldn’t keep food or liquids down.  It was awful.

Monday morning, at the advice of my doctor’s office, I went into the ER since I’d only gotten sicker through the night.  There we learned that I’d caught the flu so I was rehydrated and given a prescription that they hoped would reduce the symptoms by a day or two (spoiler alert: it didn’t work).  I am so thankful that a new friend, who babysits Hadden for us, was able to meet us at the ER and watch him for a few hours so he didn’t have to spend the whole time sitting next to my hospital bed.  Later, when Caleb had to leave to make it to his first class of the new semester, another friend very graciously left work to drive me home from the ER and ended up staying to watch Hadden so I could sleep that afternoon.  On Tuesday my mom came to help out for a few days, which was so wonderful since I was still too sick to get out of bed.  I’ll spare you the details of the sickness and just say that it was the sickest I’ve never been in my life which makes the help of these three people even nicer.  I don’t know how we would have made it through those days without their help.

It’s been over two and a half weeks since I got sick and I am still recovering, which is why there has been radio silence around here.  Thankfully this week we’ve been able to get back into a normal schedule.  Even though I’m not feeling like I’m at 100% yet, with Caleb’s help we’ve gotten Hadden to all of his activities, I’ve been able to finish up an article I had due and we’re getting back into the swing of cooking and cleaning after a long two week break.

In the next week or so, I’m planning to get back into a normal blogging schedule and will hopefully also start queuing up some posts for after the baby comes in May.

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Can I Please Just Deal With The Vomit?

Last week my son got sick in the car.

Luckily my husband was able to come home and help me with the clean up.  We stripped down the child, got his clothes in the washer and got him settled next to a bucket, just in case.  Then we got to work on my vehicle.  We took the car seat apart, putting the fabric pieces in the washing machine, wiping down whatever else we could with wet wipes.

It wasn’t fun.

But in the midst of it I turned to my husband and said, “Yannow, I’d deal with vomit every day if it meant we didn’t have to deal with the other stuff.”

“The other stuff” means the ambiguous parts of parenting.  The times when you’re picking the lesser of two evils.  Dealing with “the other stuff” means pouring so much thought and emotion into making the best choice possible…but still feeling unsure with your final decision.  It means making a choice that seems right at this time, yet acknowledging that years down the road you might realize that you made a mistake.

This is what I was thinking about as we aired out my car and wipes down yucky surfaces.

Vomit is gross.  But it’s completely straightforward.  Your kid pukes so you clean it up, you cancel activities for the next 24 hours and you put them on the couch with a bucket and the remote control.

“The other stuff” is complicated.  Multifaceted.  Messy.  Uncertain.

I read somewhere that the first couple of years of your child’s life are hard because they are all-consuming.  But the actual parenting is pretty straightforward.  You’re exhausted and worn out, for sure.  But you know what to do most of the time.

Then your child starts sleeping through the night.  They finish teething.  They can eat without choking.  They outgrow the risk of SIDS.  They learn to use the toilet.

It feels like it should be time to relax and breathe a bit easier.

But that’s when the other issues come in.  And all that other stuff is pretty complicated.  Messy.

Should you let your daughter hang out with the friend who pushes her around a lot?  Will she learn to stand up for herself or will she be vulnerable to bullying?

Do you keep your child in the school that doesn’t seem to be a great fit or do you pull them out mid-way through the year to hopefully find a better option?

How do you deal with moving across the country when you child is already at a vulnerable age and you’re afraid that one more change might just be the last straw for him?

When your child doesn’t mesh well with a teacher, a therapist, or a coach, do you intervene or let them work through it?

If your son hates an extracurricular activity, do you let him quit or teach him to persevere through something unpleasant?

These are the sorts of questions that don’t have easy, clear-cut answers because it’s not just about making the right decision.  It’s about making the right decision for that kid in that situation at that time.

I’ll be the first to admit that we’re at the very beginning of these decisions.  Our son is only three and a half.  Yet in the past year or so we’ve been faced with several of these heart-wrenching, all-consuming decisions.  We turn the options over and over, trying desperately to see into our child’s life, his personality, his strengths and weaknesses, and also to see into the future to predict the best decision.

But all of this – all these prayers, and tears, and conversations, and speculations, and reasonings, and wonderings – all of it comes down to faith.

I believe that I am trying to do the best for my child.

I believe that I am trying to make the best choice based on the knowledge I have.

I believe that I will do whatever I can to support my child.

I believe that this all might end up being a giant mistake that I wish I could take back.

I believe that my child will be resilient, in spite of my choices.

I believe that I will certainly make mistakes along the way.

And I believe, ultimately, deeply, assuredly, that I must do my very, very best and then trust the outcome to God.

May I Please Just Deal With The Vomit--

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