this glorious maze

because life is full of twists and turns

Tag: family (page 1 of 15)

Introducing…

welcome adelaide jane!

Two weeks ago we welcomed Adelaide Jane into our family!  We are absolutely smitten with this sweet babe and are so, so happy that we got to meet her three weeks earlier than we were anticipating.

adelaide yawning

The past two weeks have been good, but also the tiniest bit overwhelming.  Everything is okay with Adelaide right now, but we’ve been in and out of the pediatrician’s many times as she’s being monitored a little closer than most babies are.  In addition to that (and the normal lack of sleep due to having a newborn in the house) Caleb’s been having to keep up with classes – grad school doesn’t stop when you have a new baby and since we were expecting her to arrive closer to the end of the semester, we thought he’d be a bit further along in projects.  Plus we’ve tried to keep Hadden in his regular activities and therapies as well.  We owe a HUGE thank you to my mom and two of my sisters who have alternated visits to help out.  It has been a tremendous help to have an extra set of hands around at all times and all three of them went above and beyond to make things easier on us.

me with babies

This is the face of one very tired (but happy!) mama!

My original plan was to have blog posts scheduled for the first few weeks of Adelaide’s life so that I wouldn’t leave the blog silent during that time and could focus on her, but the combination of my bout with influenza and her early arrival means that my plan got derailed.  Instead I’ll probably be digging some of my favorite posts out of the archives to share during this time – keep in touch with me on Facebook to see them!  In the meantime, check out this post introducing Hadden who is almost four years old now!

Thanks for celebrating the arrival of our sweet girl with us!  I’ll be responding to comments and e-mails as soon as I’m able to, but it might take me a bit longer than normal!

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to baby

Little One,

We’re preparing for you. We’re anticipating you.  We’re so in love with you.

Your brother is learning all about babies. He’s taken to carrying around a stuffed animal, swaddled tightly. If ever I raise my voice or laugh too loudly, he urgently silences me. “Shhh, Mama!  Mine baby is sleeping!”  He knows the name we’ve selected for you (he’s the only one who does) and he sing-songs it to himself or to me or to daddy.  At my doctor’s visits, he loves to help listen for your heartbeat. “Swoo, swoo, swoo!” He says.  Last week my doctor told him that he thought the heartbeat sounded a bit like a train coming down the track. Brother stopped still in amazement.  Yesterday we were at the park when he heard a train in the distance.  “Mama!  It’s like mine baby’s heartbeat!  Choo, choo, choo, choo!”

Your daddy is working hard to be ahead on homework and research before you come. He’s also trying to wrap his mind around the idea of two (two!) children.  And he ever so graciously picking up the slack that I’m dropping without a word of complaining.

And me? Well, I can’t wait to meet you, my little darling.  I feel you churning and kicking within me. I feel the effects of your little life as I lay awake at night with heartburn or hang my head over bucket for the umtenth time.  I know it is going to be so worth it in the end.

I’ve purchased some new things for you: clothes that seem impossibly small. A  bassinet, since we never had one with your brother. With nine weeks left until we meet you, it will soon be time for me to finish up all the shopping I have left to do, to pull the other baby things out of the basement, and carve out a bit of space for you in this house.

We’re preparing for you in other ways too.  Preparing space in our hearts for you and preparing the warmest, most loving environment to bring you home to.  I’m praying for you and your future years, but also praying for us as we learn to be the parents that you need.

Oh, baby!  I can’t wait to have you in my arms.

love,

mama

 

dear little one

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Can I Please Just Deal With The Vomit?

Last week my son got sick in the car.

Luckily my husband was able to come home and help me with the clean up.  We stripped down the child, got his clothes in the washer and got him settled next to a bucket, just in case.  Then we got to work on my vehicle.  We took the car seat apart, putting the fabric pieces in the washing machine, wiping down whatever else we could with wet wipes.

It wasn’t fun.

But in the midst of it I turned to my husband and said, “Yannow, I’d deal with vomit every day if it meant we didn’t have to deal with the other stuff.”

“The other stuff” means the ambiguous parts of parenting.  The times when you’re picking the lesser of two evils.  Dealing with “the other stuff” means pouring so much thought and emotion into making the best choice possible…but still feeling unsure with your final decision.  It means making a choice that seems right at this time, yet acknowledging that years down the road you might realize that you made a mistake.

This is what I was thinking about as we aired out my car and wipes down yucky surfaces.

Vomit is gross.  But it’s completely straightforward.  Your kid pukes so you clean it up, you cancel activities for the next 24 hours and you put them on the couch with a bucket and the remote control.

“The other stuff” is complicated.  Multifaceted.  Messy.  Uncertain.

I read somewhere that the first couple of years of your child’s life are hard because they are all-consuming.  But the actual parenting is pretty straightforward.  You’re exhausted and worn out, for sure.  But you know what to do most of the time.

Then your child starts sleeping through the night.  They finish teething.  They can eat without choking.  They outgrow the risk of SIDS.  They learn to use the toilet.

It feels like it should be time to relax and breathe a bit easier.

But that’s when the other issues come in.  And all that other stuff is pretty complicated.  Messy.

Should you let your daughter hang out with the friend who pushes her around a lot?  Will she learn to stand up for herself or will she be vulnerable to bullying?

Do you keep your child in the school that doesn’t seem to be a great fit or do you pull them out mid-way through the year to hopefully find a better option?

How do you deal with moving across the country when you child is already at a vulnerable age and you’re afraid that one more change might just be the last straw for him?

When your child doesn’t mesh well with a teacher, a therapist, or a coach, do you intervene or let them work through it?

If your son hates an extracurricular activity, do you let him quit or teach him to persevere through something unpleasant?

These are the sorts of questions that don’t have easy, clear-cut answers because it’s not just about making the right decision.  It’s about making the right decision for that kid in that situation at that time.

I’ll be the first to admit that we’re at the very beginning of these decisions.  Our son is only three and a half.  Yet in the past year or so we’ve been faced with several of these heart-wrenching, all-consuming decisions.  We turn the options over and over, trying desperately to see into our child’s life, his personality, his strengths and weaknesses, and also to see into the future to predict the best decision.

But all of this – all these prayers, and tears, and conversations, and speculations, and reasonings, and wonderings – all of it comes down to faith.

I believe that I am trying to do the best for my child.

I believe that I am trying to make the best choice based on the knowledge I have.

I believe that I will do whatever I can to support my child.

I believe that this all might end up being a giant mistake that I wish I could take back.

I believe that my child will be resilient, in spite of my choices.

I believe that I will certainly make mistakes along the way.

And I believe, ultimately, deeply, assuredly, that I must do my very, very best and then trust the outcome to God.

May I Please Just Deal With The Vomit--

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