Today the pain is inescapable. My physical pain has been really intense this week, nauseating at times. And moreover, I continue to see brokenness all around me in my own life and in the lives of others. Life is hard. But it doesn’t do any good to stop there. I have been commanded to not complain (Phil 2:14).
So…here is what I do on days (like today) when the pain is inescapable. This list is not exhaustive. And my human responses are not perfect. But here’s how I’m handling today.
-I shut the blinds, turn down the A/C and crawl under the covers hoping that at least the migraine will leave
-I choose humility and accept the wheelchair and an offer to push me to dinner
-I journal, collecting my thoughts, my prayers, my fears, my thanks.
-I pray for him, this man God has blessed me with
-I “feed on His faithfulness” (Psalm 37) and remind myself how He’s always been faithful
-I press repeat and hear Christy Nockel’s sweet voice reminding me of the simple truth that Jesus Loves Me in the form of a lullaby.
-I prepare to take my girls to the women’s event on campus and pray that it will open up good conversations
-I update my gratitude journal
-I preach the Truth to myself (like Psalm 103)
-I remind myself that my life is all about dying
-I thank Jesus for the chance to minister and love on these girls He’s placed in my hall and the friends that surround me as well
-I hold my Bible tight, my fingers caressing the tear-stained pages and force myself to be re-amazed at the Gospel, which I often take for granted.
-I thank Jesus for adopted little sisters (you know who you are!!) who fill in when my own can’t be here
-I confess my sin, acknowledging and agreeing with God about what it is and refusing to put pretty labels on it or make excuses
-I pull out a favorite devotional and see how saints through the ages have endured
-I delight in the fact that I’m going to Heaven where I will see Jesus (Rev 21-22) and all will be right.