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because life is full of twists and turns

If you tell your 4 year old about abortion, will you also tell her about rape?

To the stranger on social media,

I saw your post about abortion.  How you told your 4 year old that some mamas don’t want their babies in their bellies any more.  So they kill them.  Your words, not mine.

Here are the questions I’ve been asking ever since I saw your post:

If you tell your 4 year old about abortion, will you also tell her about sex?  Because I know that in many households, children learn about abortion years and years before they learn about sex.  And that seems off to me.  Does she even know how babies get in bellies?  And if you haven’t told her, why not?  Why is it too early to learn about something beautiful, but the right time to learn about something heartbreaking?

If you tell your 4 year old about abortion, will you also tell her about contraceptives?  And will you tell her that it is her right and every woman’s right to have them at an affordable cost?

If you tell your 4 year old about abortion, will you also tell her about rape?  How women, teenagers, and even tiny girls can be forced against their will?  How it can happen once or happen repeatedly, but either way leaves deep and lasting imprints on the woman.  How sometimes that vile, despicable act results in pregnancy?  How a girl who has already had her body snatched from her would feel when she learns that the effects of the rape will continue to be physically in her for 9 months?

If you tell your 4 year old about abortion, will you also tell her about mamas who want to keep their babies?  Who are making a decision that rips their heart in pieces?  Because that is part of this story as well.  You can’t simply reduce this down to “mamas who don’t want their babies.”  Women agonize over this choice and come to this decision for a wide variety of reasons.

I’m not asking you to support abortion.  But, my friend, if you decide that 4 years old is the right age to learn about abortion, will you at least tell the whole story?

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Completion > Perfection {an honest video review of Chatbooks}

I’m aaaaaalive.  And by that I mean that I am finally taking the time to sit and write one of the many blog posts I’ve been composing in my head for, oh, several months now.  So here’s a quick review of the photo book company Chatbooks:

Since Hadden was born I’ve known that I needed to start collecting and printing our family photos.  I had this intense guilt over all the wonderful photos we had that were just hanging out in The Cloud.  I wanted to do something with them, but I was paralyzed by a need for them to be perfect.  As my reserve of pictures grew so did my guilt.

When I heard about Chatbooks I was skeptical as to whether I’d like it or not.  I still had the idea of an intricate scrapbook (a la Creative Memories) but with no desire or talent to actually MAKE that scrapbook.  So while I was waited for my first Chatbook to arrive, I had some serious reservations.

After several months of trying out their products I can now highly recommend Chatbooks.  The convenience and price simply cannot be beat.  And I’ve been happy with all the items I’ve received.

As I say in the video, I would NOT use Chatbooks for, say, your wedding album.  The quality just isn’t on par with other photo books I’ve made even on the pictures I’ve taken with my “good” camera.  I have liked the books I’ve received enough that I am working on six other books and plan to have all of them printed once I edit the captions and add Caleb’s photos.

I also love the fact that at any time I can go on and order another copy of a book.  If we ever lose them during a move or if we decided to print copies of our family albums for our kids, it will take me just a few clicks before a new album is on its way to our home.

 

 

A few additional things:

  1. Chatbooks contacted me in the spring and offered to send me a free book.  However there was no mention or obligation of writing a review in exchange for the product.  I had a frustrating experience at the beginning of working with them and the book that was offered never actually came.  Instead I was given a credit and with that I made my own book (again, .  Even after the rough start, I’ve since fallen in love with this company.  I chose to do a review on my own because I wanted to share it with people.  All opinions are my own.
  2. I am THE WORST on video.  And I know it.  So if it sounds awkward to you, don’t worry: I’m aware. But I wanted to actually show the products and knew that filming would be much faster than trying to describe each thing.
  3. What you can’t see in this picture is Adelaide sitting right next to me in her highchair trying to figure out what the heck I was doing!  I was waiting for her to make some noise, but she was perfectly quiet the whole time.

If you follow this link, you can get your first book FREE!  That is a referral link so if you follow it and make a Series book (rather than a Custom), I receive a small credit to my account.  If you’d prefer not to use the referral link, you can usually find other deals around the web!  Try it out!

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How much does it REALLY cost to have a baby on Tricare Standard?

One of the questions that is frequently asked among military families is about switching to Tricare Standard.

For those of you who don’t know, Tricare is our health insurance as military families.  When you first sign up, you are in Tricare Prime (and military members themselves MUST be on Prime).  With Prime, you see the medical professionals on base unless they refer you out somewhere else.  And with Prime, you probably won’t pay anything.  My husband has been in the military for five years now and our entire family was on Prime for the majority of that time.  Tricare Standard gives you the ability to go to off medical professionals.  However with Standard you will pay a co-pay.

When we moved to WPAFB and found out that Baby #2 was coming, I initially went to the Women’s Health Clinic on base where they had OBs and midwives and planned to deliver Adelaide at the base hospital.  Somewhere near the end of the second trimester, I decided that I would rather be seen off-base for my prenatal care and deliver the baby at the off-base hospital.  Caleb was on-board with whatever I wanted, but we were both interested (nervous?) to see how much we would end up paying out-of-pocket.

From the time I switched to Standard until the actual delivery, I had a few small bills.  $10, for instance, to run some blood work.  Near the end of my pregnancy when I got the flu I had an ER visit that ended up costing us about $140.  But as far as the actual birth goes, we paid $25.

 

My Hospital Bill

 

What I Paid

The $25 covered my entire delivery and recovery time: an induction, an epidural and a 24 hour stay post-delivery.  (I could have stayed for another day, but chose to go home).

If you are considering switching to Standard while pregnant and trying t to keep your out-of-pocket expenses low, here are a few suggestions.

  • While on Standard you can still get your prescriptions filled on base, but since the base pharmacy doesn’t charge a co-pay, you save money each time.  I did this during my pregnancy.  Instead of sending the presciption order to a local drug store, my doctor would print off a copy that I would take on base to be filled.
  • Talk with your doctor about letting you do any blood work or immunizations on base because, again, it’s free if it is on base.
  • Post-delivery the same is true.  If you need medication, birth control or even an IUD take a prescription on base to save money.
Have you had a baby while on Tricare Standard?  I would love to hear what city you were in and how much you paid.
If you delivered on Tricare Prime, how was your experience?

 

tricare standard

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